It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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