I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize