sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
