R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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