And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
