3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
