I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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