We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
