hotel room ftw
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
