if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
