i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
