I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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