Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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