Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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