8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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