dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
