dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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