how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
pray to the hookup gods
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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