did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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