sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
