Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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