You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize