I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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