8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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