Can Purell be used as lube?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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