what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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