last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
