Your mouth is God's brothel.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
