We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize