But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
