Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I deserve this hangover.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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