people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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