I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
