I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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