I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
