The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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