someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
