booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
