i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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