I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
