she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
