happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
