We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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