another moral hangover. fuck.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
