We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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