mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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