dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
