He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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