The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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