R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
