24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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