Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
