I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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