you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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