sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
