no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
