dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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