Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
