im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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