i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
